My Fox News TV Interview on Choosing Happiness!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Law of Attraction Tip: Making Peace with What Is!

This is a Law of Attraction tip that I have been sharing and teaching for years with my students and clients. And one that I have embraced over the years that has made quite a positive difference in my life in terms of the quality of the life experiences that I continue to attract into my life.

Many people have a tough time with "making peace with what is" (I used to too!).

After all, how do you make peace with "what is" if "what is" isn't what you want in your life?

What a great question, huh?

On the surface that seems like it would be a difficult thing to do. And it can sure feel that way. But there is a misconception about "making peace with what is". Many people think that this means "giving into it" or "giving up on your dreams and accepting that you will have to put up with what you are dealing with forever". And that's just not the case.

To me, making peace with what is just means that you release a lot of the resistance you have around it. Because we all know that what you resist ... persists. From a Law of Attraction stand point that makes perfect sense because when you are "resisting something" you are giving it A LOT of your attention and focus to it. And what you are giving your attention to is the exact thing that you don't like, don't want, want to get rid of. So, you are rooted in LACK ... lack of thing that you really want. And of course, what do you continue to attract? More of what you don't want; more proof that what you are focusing on is going to continue to stay there.

So "acceptance" and "making peace with" is more about softening the resistance. Now, some people find this easier to do on certain areas of their life, than others. Why would that be? I believe it is because in those areas that feel "difficult", there is a thick web of dis-empowering stories that we are telling ourselves that need to be shifted and changed before we can make that peace and "accept what is". I help my clients to uncover these dis-empowering stories and to re-write them so that they feel so much better and as a result, bring them great relief. Relief is a much better feeling than "resistance" and as a result leads to a shift to a more peaceful, ALLOWING place so that what we can more easily attract what we really want in our lives.

For me, when I rationalize it out and ask myself "Is NOT making peace with this bringing you what you want?" and the answer is a clear "No. It's just making me feel worse", that seems to open up the doorway to the peaceful, AHHHHHH, feeling and a relaxed state of being around the situation. Being a deliberate creator of my life experiences I know how important it is to feel good, so as soon as I recognize that the emotion that I am choosing to hold onto makes me feel worse, I realize that my only job is to improve how I feel.

I also remind myself that there is always a hidden gem in every life situation that I am experiencing and that the sum total of those experiences is what made me who I am today -- which is a strong, passionate, powerful woman who can do anything when she puts her mind to it and has "beaucoup" positive energy to give to others. I appreciate all challenges I have ever experienced, because they have just made me stronger. So, in reality, there is no "bad" or "good" event, they are not to be judged, it is just how we respond to them that makes a difference in how fully we experience life.

I often tweet the following quote that I came up with which summarizes this concept beautifully:

"Make peace with what is, with a clear intention of where you want to go." ~ Lesetz

To Your Health & Happiness,
~ Coach Maria

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

How to handle REGRETS!

I just read a quote recently that really struck me:

"Never regret anything because at one point it was EXACTLY what you wanted!" ~ Unknown

Think about that for a second. Regrets are all about something we did in the past that NOW we are wishing we didn't OR wishing that we could have a "Do-Over" on that same situation. Do you ever feel like that? I know that I have had those thoughts where I remember something I did in the past where it took me on a specific life path that now, I might be judging and saying "if I only knew then, what I know now, I would have done things differently". Now, what I just described could be considered a regret.

Let's look at a couple of definitions that I found on an online dictionary site (

Regret ... A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.

or ... Regret ... A sense of loss and longing for something or something gone.

Sometimes I wish I did do things differently when I look back into the past. But, I also know that when I do that it doesn't feel so good. Feeling regret is low on that emotional scale of JOY. It's actually quite far from the feeling of the "vortex" that Abraham-Hicks talks about in their Law of Attraction teachings. And choosing to be a deliberate creator of my life experiences, I typically catch myself in the act of feeling this way and make the decision to tell myself another story or let go of what happened then and realize that the most important thing that will determine my future life experiences is what I am feeling NOW in this present moment.

And when it comes down to it, regretting something you did in the past isn't going to change your situation. It's just going to keep you feeling distressed, depressed, angry, frustrated, stuck ... all feelings that will ONLY attract to you life situations that will continue to make you feel this way. Remember ... the Law of Attraction simply states "Like attracts like".

Now, going back to the quote I started this blog post with, it essentially is saying that what we regret NOW is something we did back in the past that we actually WANTED to do. WOW ... how profound is that! So, back then, we CHOSE to quit that job, marry or divorce that person, take a risk, start a new business, move to a new location, party a little too much, ... and the list goes on of all the things that we may be regretting that we wish we never did.

My philosophy is that "everything happens for a reason" and that the things that challenge us in life can also help us to grow emotionally and spiritually. Each and every event impacts the next. So you really don't know if that thing you are regretting had to happen in order for you to be where you are today. I can find the blessings in the things that I may consider as regrets. And when I do, I feel so much better. Because I am flipping the story I am telling myself. I am seeing the "gem" in the rough stone that appears dirty, ugly and invaluable. There is always a lesson to be learned and there is always growth that can happen. It's all a matter of how we choose to look at things.

I believe Wayne Dyer says "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change." (or something to that effect). And it's true. You can view your life with a different pair of lenses and all of a sudden, your life would not look as bad as you thought it was before you chose to put on those "positive, feel good" lenses. Do you know what I mean?

How do you handle regrets? You choose to view them differently. You choose to see the blessings in all your life events. You recognize that feeling regret is not going to attract to you what you want in your life and that it will only put a pause button on your dreams and desires. You see the beauty in the fact that in each and every moment we are at choice to feel a certain way.

Simply stated ... Regrets don't feel good. And when you don't feel good, you are NOT attracting what you want into your life. So, stop regretting the past and start living in the NOW and realizing the power you have in this present moment to create a fabulous future just by the nature of the thoughts and feelings that you choose to have.

To your Health & Happiness,
~ Coach Maria

Friday, March 4, 2011

Law of Attraction Tip that Many Find Difficult to do=> Let Go of the HOW!

If you are a Law of Attraction student, teacher, expert, I am sure you have heard the advice of "Letting go of the HOW" (i.e., HOW it is going to happen). I teach this to all my students and coaching clients as well. And I often remind myself to LET GO OF THE HOW with some of my big dreams.

However, many people find this quite difficult to do. Maybe that's you. After all, we are a society of "figure out-ers"! We want to know HOW to do something. What are the steps? How do I get "there"?

And sometimes figuring out the HOW is exciting. It feels like we are being productive. It sometimes can feel down right EMPOWERING. But those are not the times that I am talking about when I offer the advice of LETTING GO OF THE HOW. I am referring to those times when we get frustrated by trying to figure it all out. You know the times I am talking about - when you have this goal or dream and you are trying to figure out in that brain of yours ... Maybe a few of these statements sound familiar to you:

"How the heck am I going to achieve that?!

There are so many steps to get there and I don't know all of them.

It feels impossible.

This dream feels HUGE and out of reach.

It feels like "pie in the sky" (This is something one of my Doctor coaching clients told me when she was referring to a goal she had for starting her own side business in the wellness industry.)

Letting go of the HOW is important to do when we are getting caught up in our gremlin thoughts around the HOW and it is frustrating the heck out of us. As Law of Attraction students, we know that "frustration" will not bring us what we want in our lives. At least, it will not bring us the ideal situation. So, if our emotions are our indicators of what we are attracting into our lives, we must do something about that frustration. And the only thing to do when we can't figure out the HOW is to let go of trying to figure it out.

Now, I know that sounds easier said than done. Because many of us are wired (I'm raising my hand here) to get into the nitty gritty details and find the path to making it happen. But often when we do this, coming from that frustration place, we get absolutely nowhere! We feel stuck. Oh yes, I know that feeling of "stuck" - do you?

Feeling "stuck" is more about the nature of our thoughts and feelings than what is going on outside of us. We are "stuck" in the type of thoughts we are choosing to think on a daily basis. So, we have to shake it up a bit. Pivot our thoughts. Turn our focus to something that brings us relief (even if it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the goal at hand).

I use a few techniques, tools, exercises that help my coaching clients (and myself) to let go of the how. These are releasing techniques that help us to feel more at peace and to trust more in the natural process of the unfolding of our dreams.

Letting go of the HOW doesn't have to be that difficult. It's only difficult if we believe it is. I am the type of person where "logic" really resonates with me. So, when I ask myself the following question, I usually LET GO after the answer:

"Is trying to figure out the HOW making you FEEL GOOD?"

Usually, my answer is NO. And once I am aware of that, it is far easier for me to LET GO of figuring out the HOW and to remind myself to TRUST MORE and believe that everything is unfolding in a perfect timing and that my dreams and desires are happening (even if many of the steps are going on behind the curtains and I can't see all of them!).

Before you leave, listen to my brief inspirational video clip, aired on Fox News TV about this very topic: LETTING GO OF THE HOW! Enjoy and please do contact me if you need some guidance with this. I LOVE helping my coaching clients get out of there own way so that they can live out their dreams!

To your Health & Happiness,
~ Coach Maria

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Law of Attraction Tip: When you Wake up in a Bad Mood!

Often new coaching clients come to me with the yearning to be more positive but the feeling of frustration that they are "stuck" in a constant negative vibe.

They tell me "I wake up this way and I really try to be positive, but how can I do that when I wake up every morning with those same negative thoughts?"

Listen to one of my latest Fox News TV Inspirational videos on this very topic and as usual, I will revisit and elaborate after you watch this 45-second clip:

You don't get to that place of "being negative all the time" over night, it happens over a period of time where you are practicing the same type of thought pattern over and over again. You get there by continuing to focus on what you don't want, what you are worried about, what doesn't feel good in your current reality. Now, I understand that you don't practice these thoughts "deliberately" - who would want to do that? But you have gotten yourself into a pattern of default negative thinking which has become your point of attraction.

So, the only way to stop this pattern is to:

1) Be aware. Awareness is the first step to changing anything in your life. Think about it. If you are driving a car and you are not aware at all of your surroundings and in a "fog" or daze, what is likely to happen. You must have some form of awareness about you when you are driving so that you can arrive safely to where you want to go. Well, same goes for your life goals and your awareness around your emotions and what you are feeling.

2) Catch those gremlin thoughts in the act! Once you are more aware of the nature of your thoughts and feelings, you can often catch yourself in the act of negative thinking (or what many Law of Attraction people call "gremlin thoughts"). Once you catch yourself, you can make a conscious decision to pivot to a better feeling place. (even if it is ever so slight of an improvement in how you feel -- an improvement is still moving up the vibrational scale and is a good thing!).

3) Stop beating up on yourself! Oh, this is a biggie. Once we start to learn about the Law of Attraction, we can get down on ourselves for "knowing better" and thinking that "we should be more positive". Sometimes, you just have to let yourself feel what you feel and then move on. (Like I mentioned in the previous post where I asked the question "Is Positive Thinking a bunch of Hooey?!") Bottom line, be kinder to you. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. And then start becoming a deliberate creator by reaching for relief, reaching for that better feeling by turning your focus to something else that makes you feel good OR by telling yourself a different story about your life situation.

Some of this Law of Attraction material seems like the same message, and honestly it is. If it could be summed up in two words it would be "FEEL GOOD" or "BE HAPPY" or "LOVE LIFE". And yet, many of us have the equation all backwards. We think that the way we will FEEL GOOD or LOVE LIFE is when our goals and dreams are manifested. But that's not the way it works. That's why I started my Lovin' Life Coaching business in the first place ... to teach people how to be Lovin' Life NOW so that any of their dreams and desires can unfold with ease!

From that happier place (which is ALWAYS found within), that is where we can create miracles in our lives.

To your Health & Happiness,
~ Coach Maria