Yesterday I had an "off" day. Yes, even a Happiness Coach has some "off" moments ... I am human! ;-) Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you feel. I know that is SO profound, but it is such a helpful tip for being able to move on from that emotional crap that we sometimes get stuck in!!!
So, yesterday's mood got me thinking. You see I was doing what many of you do ... I was beating up on myself yesterday about some decisions I had made in the past. Now, I know better, but I just had to LET IT OUT, get it off my chest, cry, get angry! I know ... shocker, huh? You may not find too many happiness coaches admitting that they have those feelings. But, we do. The only difference between the way I may process those type of feelings and you may process them, is that I am so hyper-aware of what I am feeling and I also know that what I feel impacts what comes next, that I make sure I do everything in my power to shift the feeling into a better feeling place!
And yesterday I came up with a new approach. I was driving in the car with my honey and here's what came out of my mouth =>
"Maybe we should throw a pitty party, buy balloons, beat up on ourselves all day and then make a pact with each other that after we do that for one day, we are done! No more beating up on ourselves. No more feeling stuck. Decide that "THAT'S IT!"
Now, we didn't throw the party yet, but it did make me chuckle and I even found some relief in just the thought of throwing that party. First of all, I absolutely know that I could not beat up on myself for an entire day .... it probably wouldn't last 1 hour (if that). Second of all, I know that when I beat up on myself, it only makes me feel worse, it doesn't solve a thing and it keeps me from taking inspired action steps that will move me towards the direction of my dreams! So, why the heck do it?
So ... what would your pitty party look like? Who would you invite to join in your misery? How would you decorate? What food would you serve? I know at my party there would be a lot of chocolate and purple and red balloons! :) :) :)
Just even thinking about that party right now, makes me smile because it is so ridiculous! And as you know from the Law of Attraction, any feeling of relief is a good one! So, feeling relief from just the thought of throwing a pitty party is exactly what I needed yesterday to keep me moving forward and living a life filled with joy instead of regrets.
"Regrets are just another way we beat up on ourselves
and stop our dreams from unfolding."
~ Maria Lesetz
and stop our dreams from unfolding."
~ Maria Lesetz
As I see it, pity - whether we give it to ourselves or get it from someone else - has a very short lifespan of effectivity. We want to know someone else recognizes our hardship, the difficulty we experience and pain we feel over unfortunate circumstances & situations that are "beyond our control."
ReplyDeleteGetting into it, wallowing for a while, can be highly beneficial - as long as we recognize that it's primary function is to satisfy an inner desire to have someone else share that sad, unfortunate feeling. Once we get that pity from an outside source (sourcES), we're primed for moving along, through & past, onto something else that feels much better.
I've come to recognize my own desire/need for pity now and then, and I'm not afraid to ask for it. I have asked for it - "I just want someone to recognize this and feel sorry for me for a bit, put their arm around me and tell me everything is going to be OK."
I've said that, asked for it and received it, and each time I found myself feeling so much better within a very short period of time - minutes to even seconds.
I figure the key is to accepting the pity we get, be it from ourselves or others - wallow in it, take from it what we want, what we need, and then be done with it.
Because nothing truly great is ever going to happen in our lives as long as we remain in a state of pity (again, from self or other). That good stuff can only come in when we allow ourselves to feel better...
So this is my way of saying I'd be all in for a Pity Party, because I know within minutes it would be a celebration - of myself and others!
I do adore perspective!
Thanks for bringing this up, Maria, and letting us know that you are just like us.
Because knowing that helps me (for one) recognize that I can do just as well as you, as much as you, and that I can be as happy and satisfied with my life as you are with yours.
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
Anna
Anna ...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your reply. What great insights you have on the topic of "pity". And you bring up another level of the pity party that I wasn't even talking about in my post ... the pity that some of us may seek from others. When I was throwing my pity party, it was only going to be a party of 2 (me and my honey).
I do agree that getting that hug from someone else and the reassurance that all is going to be well can be very helpful and beneficial to us moving past the fear, anxiety, sadness, etc. that we may feel in those moments.
What we have to watch out for is sharing our emotions with others who will hop right on our band wagon and start feeling sorry for themselves along with us!!! That's one big negative emotion party that you don't want to go to! ;-)
It just feels so good to release what we feel and not push it down or hold back from verbalizing it. That's the biggest mistake I see a lot of Law of Attraction people make. They feel that they are not supposed to speak negatively or feel a negative emotion ... but they can't help but feel it underneath if it is something that is really bothering them. So, let it out, scream, cry, talk to your favorite coach or a good friend (who will not join in your negative party) and then move on from there!
Have a Lovin' Life rest of the night, Anna!
As you say ... Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!
~ Maria